Yes, Viriginia there is a Santa Claus

Odd. I had a strange thing happen to me a few days ago. I was standing in the checkout line at Target not really paying attention, sort of looking at what I was purchasing, not sure if I should be spending non-existent money on the Christmas clearance items that I had in my basket. (You know...... the "do I really need this" dialogue we all have w/ ourselves when we think we are getting a deal but don't really need the items.) Suddenly a very deep voice from behind me quipped, "Could you please move up - they are waiting for you to empty your basket". I spun around slightly annoyed, planning to say something like, "Don't get your knickers in a knot" and found myself staring into one of the most strikingly beautiful women I have seen in years. She actually took my breath away and I sort of just stared for a minute totally forgetting what I had planned to say in response. She didn't smile. I sort of stuttered an apology hoping to clear the air but she didn't seem happy. I guess she must have been in a hurry because she seemed rather irritated. I apoligized again and told her she was welcome to check out ahead of me. She just stared right back at me and said, "No, I want you to hurry up". I was flabbergasted. (stupid word but totally appropriate in this situation) I didn't know what to say. "Are you sure" is what slid out of my mouth (I know dumb, but I didn't feel in control of any of my faculties at this point). She strongly informed me, "My dear, I...... unlike you, know exactly what I am purchasing. I think it would benefit you greatly in the future to know what it is you want to purchase prior to entering the check out line. Consider this a lesson. And I do believe by watching you for all of 5 minutes that you have a great many lessons to learn." Okay...NOW I have been struck dumb. Totally! My hackles that normally would have already sensed the mood and jumped to the forefront ready for battle went nto hiding and were nowhere to be found. My usual smart mouthed, sassy, one liner response mechanism - GONE!

I shook my head in disbelief (still unable to utter a coherent word - much less a sentence) she started to laugh. I swear to God - I have never had so many conflicting feelings and responses going through my body all at the same time. It's like I short circuited. Meanwhile my body is going nuts. Even with all this stuff firing in my brain (picture nuclear meltdown)..... I want to kiss her.....right there in front of God and everyone! (Yep! - Right there in the conservative Christian Target.) More than that I want her to kiss me and for all of 15 or so seconds I actually had a thought that maybe she was thinking the same thing and she just might. OH GOD!!! Anywhere between 5 seconds and 3 hours passed (couldn't begin to tell you which one). When I finally was able to breathe again, she leans over and starts to help me take items out of my cart, placing them on the conveyer belt. She laughs again and says completely matter of factly. "My dear, (oh God she called me "Dear" again) If you take any longer I am going to have to take you over my knee and spank you for holding all these customers up". OKAY REAL MELTDOWN!! The knees gave out and I started to swoon. Okay, you tell me?? DID SHE KNOW? WAS IT A COINCIDENCE? IS IT FRIGGIN' TATOOED ON MY FOREHEAD? (perhaps not such a bad idea when you think about it......) Well, being as out of control of my body and its subsequent functions as I seemed to be - I did the wackiest thing I have ever done. I welled up big time and started to cry. Now she was apologetic all over the place thinking she had upset me. "No", I assured her, "you haven't upset me one bit". (Am I ACTUALLY going to say those thoughts hovering just above my tonque?????? - Surely not) And why I thought I had any control whatsover at this point is beyond me. I didn't. Unable to look at her directly (damn I hate my submissiveness sometimes) I gulped and said "No, it is the comment you made about spanking me. It sort of hit a nerve" "In a good way though", I added quickly. "I know it makes absolutely no sense but I truly think it might help me more than it would hurt at this point in my life". "I am so scattered lately." (okay that was pretty good - someone up there was on my side suddenly). She smiled but didn't say anything, but she did keep looking at me like I was a creature with 6 heads or something. At least I felt that way. I finished with my purchases and sort of nodded goodbye. I sort of floated to the car and wondered if she would follow me out but I never saw her leave the building. I was a little down on the way home trying to figure out what the hell had just happened and why I am such a blubbering idiot sometimes. At the bottom of one of my bags I found a slip of paper that just said Andrea and a phone number. We are meeting for lunch on Wed. I will let you know what happens.