penance

i walked into the church so slowly it seemed i was floating...i didn't look left or right - but stared at my feet and just kept putting one foot in front of the other. it was dimly lit with most of the light coming from the many flickering candles lining the sides. i exhaled. i hadn't even realized i had been holding my breath. i sat down in the nearest pew and waited... i bowed my head and said a little prayer asking for strength. suddenly i heard a strong voice from behind me.... "follow me, my child". i stood and turned but could only see the back of his robe walking down the aisle and into a corridor. after a few more winding turns we came upon a bank of similar doors. he gestured for me to enter and then followed. i entered the small, confining space and immediately felt a sense of panic and the urge to bolt. but instead, i swallowed hard and whispered, "forgive me father for i have sinned".

"we know, my child" he responded, "that is why you are here".

i opened my mouth to speak but he silenced me with a gesture. "we know of your sins, he stated.."you will be punished". for the first time i looked into his eyes and silently asked what I already knew. "Oh yes, my child", he answered, "it will be painful - you will need to prepare."

two sisters entered the room and began to help me undress. one carefully folded my clothes, placing them on a nearby chair while the other tied my hair back. i was trembling but not from the air on my naked skin. i was modest and tried to cover myself. the sistera led me a long, wooden bench and stretched me face down lenghtwise on it. it felt very hard and cold. now i was truly scared. i heard priest come around to the side of the bench. "you will now be strapped, my child, thoroughly and completely..... until i feel you have been washed clean of your sins... do you understand" he asked? i tried to answer but no words would come. I nodded in acquiesence.

he stood to the side and proceeded to pray. it seemed an eternity and my fear began to take over. i began to cry quietly. waiting was excruciating. as the first crack of the strap whistled through the air I tensed. it landed. i winced - determined not to cry out. another landed. it hurt so badly tears sprung into my eyes unbidden. he did many fast strikes in a row and i moaned so loudly i wasn't even sure if the sound was coming from me. God, how it stung! more cracks .........and suddenly he isn't pausing in between anymore. it is a constant strap upon bare behind and I find myself squirming unintentionally to avoid the contact. he is unhappy with the movment and orders me to hold still. i try so hard but cannot control my squirming. he gestures to the sisters to hold me and i bridle at the thought of being held down. one sister holds my ankles while the other one stretches my arms out in front of me. she has a very firm grasp. the next thing i know the strap has started in again. i clench my rear thinking it might be a bit of protection but there is no protection to be had. he is strapping me hard and fast. i cannot catch my breath. it hurts beyond anything i have ever imagined and i am beginning to want it to stop. i mutter a "please" but no one responds. no one save the strap that keeps biting into me and burning my backside. it stings and i am on fire. i want it to be over... i am trying so hard not to cry but a sob escapes me and one of the sisters says "go ahead my child - let it out". i do. suddenly I am wailing and crying and begging for it to stop. it continues. i am beside myself. "it hurts!!!", i cry and the sister just nods her head. I am growing to a place where i need it to stop and it doesn't. i am on the edge of panic. my cries are starting to resemble screams and still it continues.

suddenly it does stop. it is silent except for my cries. i begin to truly sob. one sister lets go of my legs and the other one gently strokes my hair. "this is necessary" she says. "you must be brave". i look up incredulous that it might not be over. i see the father is now holding a switch in his hand. he is calm but waiting. "oh no, oh no, oh no" i stammer. "i cannot bear it".
"yes, you can - and yes, you will" he says without any expression whatsoever. The sisters then help me off the bench and place me spreadeagle upon the wall. there are small rings that they secure both hands and feet to. i turn my cheek so i can see the father behind me. hs is ready - i can tell. i close my eyes and pray for strength.

no words can describe the feeling once he begins. it is like liquid fire raining down up on the back of my legs. i am screaming for mercy. it is painful beyond words and i hate it and deserve it all at the same time. i want it to stop and I want it to burn more. he reads my mind. he finds new spots to burn. i am bucking and thrashing as much as i am being thrashed. it continues for an eternity. i hear a long, continuous high pitched wail coming from somewhere, not conscious that is is me. the switching ends.

i hear them praying behind me but cannot make out what they say. I am panting, choking on my sobs and saying my own prayers it is over. the sisters untie me and gently lead me over to a small cot in the corner - holding me up as i cannot walk well yet. they place me face down on the cot and gently rub oil all over my thoroughly blistered backside. i cry softly now. i have been punished well and so deservedly. i feel cleansed. i am free.

wondering....

This isn't so much a fantasy as much as something that happens to me at different times in my life. I am wondering if anyone else has felt/thought/ or actually done anything like what has been going thru my head the past few weeks.

When my desires get so strong and I don't have an outlet for them, I see strangers in everyday life (the checkout lady at the grocery store..or the waitress that waited on me at lunchtime...... the postal clerk at the post office.....the janitor sweeping the hall at the school...etc.)and I think about walking up to them, explaining to them how awful I have been and how badly I need to be spanked and spanked hard, then asking them if they think they could take me into the bathroom or back room somewhere, pull my pants down and proceed to spank me until they were convinced I was a thoroughly punished and truly sorry for my misdeeds.

I often find myself staring at people and measuring the possibility of whether or not I think they would be "open" to it. Perhaps - one day soon - I will grow the courage to ask.

Ah... the possibilites!

Piano Lesson

Okay - I got a major major spanking today. She blistered my butt royally. It has been over two hours and It still is stinging like crazy.

I guess I deserved it but I certainly wasn't expecting it. At least not to the extent she went to. She has spanked me once before but it was just a few smacks on my butt with her ruler while she admomished me for how little I had worked and practiced the week before. I actually was embarassed that time but I also thought it was a little but funny. When she stood up today and told me she was going to "spank me til I couldn't sit down" - I laughed and I guess maybe that pissed her off cause she was on a mission from then on.

Basically it was fast and hard and I was face down over the piano bench before I could blink. She has this ruler that she uses to tap out the rhythm of the piece I am playing. I like to play the piano but I don't like to stay in any time frame and I HATE to practice. Sometimes when I start dropping my wrists she will smack my hands with it. Well this time, she started in on my backside that was stretched over the piano bench with a fury. I couldn't even respond because I was so surprised and not sure what was happening - but damn, it hurt!!!!! I couldn't even catch my breath. I was gasping for air.

Oh.. and of course I had to have shorts on so the next thing I know... she starts on the backs of my bare legs and I screamed. I guess she liked the response she was getting because from then on she blistered the backs of my legs without stopping for what seemed like forever. I was kicking and crying out and bucking like a bronco trying to avoid where I thought they were going to land (somehow now that I think back on it - was probably not the brightest thing for me to do... I think it made it worse) I even have red stripe marks on my calves!!!

Suddenly she stops and there I am panting and moaning and still so in shock I don't know what to say or do. I start to get up and she says.. "Oh no you don't ..... you stay right there young lady....I will inform you when you are finished with this lesson!" I lie back down trying really hard not to whimper. God it hurt. It hurt so much I couldn't even cry. She leaves me there and goes into a back room Next thing I know she is on her cell phone discussing me with someone but I can't figure out who. I am starting to get very nervous. I now have a rock in my stomach and my heart is beating like it is going to jump out of my body. I HATE just lying there with my sore butt up in the air. I CAN'T STAND the waiting. It is like I hear ticking in my head.

Suddenly she reappears with a black leather belt in her hand and says "Katy, you have had this coming for a long, long time. You are undisicplined, lazy, sassy and I for one will not allow you to behave like this ever again. I have spoken to your father and he agrees that stronger measures need to be taken to correct your behaviour... SO..... I am not going to blister your fanny and you are going to do exactly as I say or this will be a weekly event. I blinked, and swallowed and wanted to run out the door. I think she saw the fear in my eyes because she reached out, grabbed my arm and led me over to the couch. I was really scared and managed to say..."please don't - I will do whatever you ask me to do from now on but please not the belt...please!". Well, now it was her turn to laugh. She motioned for me to bend over the arm of the sofa. I felt my shorts pull really really tight and just prayed it wouldn't hurt as much as I thought it might. THEN THE WORST!!! She reached over, grabbed my shorts AND my underwear and yanked them down to my akles. I screamed and said "NO WAY" and stood up and yanked them right back up. Well... that did it.. She snapped. She doubled the belt and started strapping me bare legs where I was already really sore and I wailed. Every time she used the belt she would say..."Pull down your pants right now". I wouldn't but she kept strapping my legs sooo hard and I was crying now and asking her to stop and all she would say was "I SAID PULL DOWN THOSE PANTS"....

Well, me being the stupid stubborn mule that I am - held out as long as I could. When I finally couldn't stand it I yelled "Okay, Okay, Okay" and then pulled them back down to my knees and started bawling like a baby. All she said was... "You go ahead and cry because in a few minutes you are REALLY going to have a reason to cry!" Well, I have to say she was right. Never, EVER underestimate the resolve of a pissed of piano teacher. She bent me back over the arm of the sofa and then proceeded to strap my bare ass but good. I don't even remember that much except I was blubbering and pleading and crying and kicking all at the same time and it just went on and on. I had to hold on to one of the cushions to keep from reaching back to protect my butt. Funny thing is.... during this whole time I felt sort of weird. Sort of a part of myself was watching myself "get it" and realizing that I truly did deserve it. I think somewhere inside me I had wanted someone to "notice" and make me "accountable" for all the BS I had been dishing out. All of a sudden I stopped fighting the strapping and just let her punish me. I think she noticed the change because she slowed down and the last few smacks weren't quite so hard. I was still crying but I was quieter and started feeling really light headed and floaty. She sat down next to me and said "Katy, I am sorry I had to hurt you, but you know you had this coming and I do believe this was the only way I could truly get your attention and get through to you. You have much to much talent to throw away like you have been and I refuse to put up with your attitude and disrespectfulness anymore. Got it?" I nodded. I got it. She left and I went to my bedroom and probably cried for a whole hour. The whole thing really affected me and GOD am I sore!!!! I can't even lie on my back. My butt is still so on fire. The other weird thing is I have played the strapping over and over in my mind since she left. I don't ever want to go through that again, but I can't stop thinking about it. I wonder if in my future lessons I will be able to think about anything but her spanking the living daylights out of me?

In the Cabana

I was about 13 or 14 when I was given a very thorough spanking in one of those beach cabanas. I was SO MORTIFIED. It was a communal one that people used to change in. Not very big but it had a couple of old wooden benches inside. I had been sunbathing and swimming most of the day and then sort of "got into it" with my mom over not watching my little brother. I remember mouthing off about how it "wasn't my job to watch him" (Not the best response on my part!) Well...... the next thing I knew, she stood up, grabbed her bag and my little brother and then told me to get up, get my clothes and go change in the cabana. I sulked because I thought we were leaving and I was going to be lectured all the way home but I also knew by the tone in her voice it wasn't going to do me any good to argue.

I picked up my stuff and walked into the cabana and started to change. Suddenly she barged in and told me she had had entirely enough of my smart mouth and was "OVER" being talked to that way. I said I was sorry thinking it would appease her but she was really wound up. She sat my brother one one the benches and told him not to move or her would get exactly what I was going to get. She rummaged through her back and pulled out a hairbrush. I immediately got that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach because I had only been spanked a couple of times in my life, but they were bare bottomed and really really hard and I never EVER would have imagined she would do it with other people nearby. She told me to pull down my bathing suit bottoms and bend over her lap. I was in shock and just stood there. I didn't think she would go through with it but I guess I was just making her angrier and angrier. She said "I am only going to tell you ONE MORE TIME!! TAKE THE BOTTOMS OFF AND GET OVER HERE!" Well, knowing what her spankings were like and knowing that I didn't want anyone to know... I started blubbering right there; pleading and begging to be let off and promising she could spank me all she wanted when we got home. I am a MAJOR "baby" when I know I am really going to get it. I think all the crying and whimpering just fueled her resolve. The next thing I knew I was face down across her lap and she was yanking down my suit bottoms and whaling away with the hairbrush. My suit was still wet which meant my behind was REALLY sensitive and as soon as the first few spanks landed I was wailing. I mean WAILING. I have an ear piercing wail and as embarrassed as I was, I was way more concerned about how much it stung. I kept begging for her to stop and promising not to do it again, but when she started spanking it never seemed to matter. She would stop when she was good and ready to. I must have said "Mommy .... PLEAAAAASEEE...Not HERE" about a hundred times. I tried so hard to protect myself with my hands but she just kept on spanking and moving my hands out of the way. It seemed like forever before she stopped and then when she did all I could do was bawl like a baby. She told me to get up and finish changing and then meet her at the car.

It took me about 10 minutes to stop crying and calm down. I was so grateful that no one walked into the cabana during that time, but I also knew everyone had heard me get totally spanked for miles around. I was so mortified when I walked out that I couldn't take my eyes off the ground. I could feel everyone staring and I heard a few whispers and started to well up all over again. When I got to the car, Mom was a bit calmer and said "I am sorry I had to do that, but sometimes talking just doesn't get through to you..... I expect you will remember this lesson for a very long time."

No joke.

To this day I cannot see a cabana w/o blushing.

Blog Virgin...(shudder..) My first time ever :)

Hi all,

My name is Katy and this is my first blog post ever. I wasn't initally intending to do my own, but thought... hmm....."why not"? I sort of stumbled into the Pink Bottomed girls site and fell in love with it. Just in case they didn't know, "Pink" & "Brat" are such an inspiration to me. Their relationship is what I have looked for my entire life and just haven't quite found it yet. They do give me hope. ...(wistful sigh)...and Mr. Nightly I think you are a dream come true as well!!!

About me: I am a true spanko at heart and have a zillion and one fantasies. I have had major MAJOR spanking fantasies from about the time I could walk and though perhaps this would just be a great place where I could share some of them (and vice versa)... so feel free to respond.

I am a 40yr old (going on 17). I love EVERYTHING to do with spanking. I still consider myself a newbie in some respects. I would love to be in a relationship with a woman who could firmly take control of the discipline I have been wanting and needing for so long but finding someone like that is difficult at best. So... I have channeled those unfufilled desires into a very rich fantasy life. Don't get me wrong.. ...I haven't thrown in the towel yet, I am still looking for that partner who loves to spank naughty, naughty girls. But until I do... the fantasies will have to suffice.