Sunday, August 06, 2006

My Aunt

They told me they had called her and she was on her way.

I said "Whatever" in that "tone" that they say I have all the time. I just wanted them gone. My "parental units" were so getting on my nerves lately. In my face all the time about the stupidest stuff. "Do this... do that.. clean this sty of a room". God.... it is MY ROOM isn't it. They just don't "GET IT".... and I don't think they ever will.

They are packing the car for a weekend "getaway". My aunt is coming to stay with me while they are gone. Like I need a babysitter - I am almost 18 years old. They keep reminding me that that isn't main reason she is coming. They think she can help with my "attitude" and "general disposition"...whatever the f$*cK that means. They think I am "outta control". They don't know shit!!! I have never met her but I know they think she is a bit on the 'odd side' as my mother puts it. From the pics I have seen she looks "odd". Very androgynous and cold. I don't think I have ever seen her smile.

But..... she is "on her way now".... Yipee!. Can't wait. I say goodbye to the parental units and then grab a coke and flop down on the sofa. I really should be working on a term paper for Monday but just don't feel like it right now. I watch tv for a bit but nothing good is on so I head into my room and start looking at my homework. UGH!. I try to read but it is SOOOO BORING. I start to doodle on my notebook and suddenly I look out my window see this woman walking toward the house. She is down the street and walking very purposefully with very long strides.

I suddenly go cold. My bottom fall out of my stomach and I don't even know why except that she has a look in her eye that makes me nervous. I am not sure why. What the f*%ck..... I don't get nervous around adults. This is dumb.

It takes a while before I hear the knock. I yell "It's open!". She knocks again. I yell louder this time "IT"S OPEN I SAID". Third time - jeez she must be deaf. "I'M COMING... hold your horses!!!" Shit!... I go to the door and as I open it, my stomach drops again! Totally weird! I don't get this.

"Katy?" she enquires? "That would be me" I answer. I try a smile but her face stays blank. She walks right past me and drops her duffle bag onto the coffee table. "You and I are going to have a "discussion" the likes of which you have never had", she says and looks me right in the eyes. I roll mine thinking "oh god... what is she going to lecture me about... she just friggin' got here". She pulls out a chair and gestures for me to sit. I don't move. She grabs me by the shoulders and the next thing I know I am sitting in the chair. She brings her face down only a few inches from mine. " I am here because you parents informed me you are in serious need of an attitude adjustment and that, my dear, is what I do. I get rid of shitty little "tudes" like yours." I frown... not really sure what she is talking about but she continues. "So... I am going outside to smoke a cigarette. You will go in and clean up your bedroom, make your bed and then call me when you are ready for me to check it." I looked at her like she was nuts (which I was beginning to think might be true) but then I just decided it would be easier to "humor" her so I got up and went to the bedroom. (I slammed the door just for effect too but she didn't comment) I looked around at my bedroom - which was a total sty. I probably should clean it up because I can't find anything anymore but I don't like being "told" what to do. That doesn't work for me. So - I went back to doodling on my notebook. About 20 minutes went by and I didn't hear anything from the other side of the door. Suddenly she opened the door. "Hey, you need to knock first.. ", I started to say but stopped when she began to grab everything on the floor and throw it into a pile in the corner. Mostly clothes, but some shoes, magazines, etc. She then pulled comforter & top sheet off the bed and threw them in the pile as well. She then took everything in the pile and threw them out on the front lawn. I was flabbergasted. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" "Stop it you idiot" I screamed at her, "Have you lost your mind????". (Now I was convinced of it) The look on her face though - shut me up. I have never felt like I did at that moment. For some reason I felt like I had gone to far. I actually knew it more than felt it... you know down deep in my bones. I went cold again. I was scared. I looked at her face and suddenly I was very scared. She must have seen it or felt it too. The next thing I new she was unbuckling the leather belt that she had on her jeans and pulling it out through the loops. (Oh my god!) "No way" I thought. "No way" ...she wouldn't dare. I started to open my mouth but she simply raised her hand and pointed at the bed. "What?" I stammered. "Bend over the end of the bed", she said and I suddenly had a flash of what was going to happen. I froze. "Bend over the end of the bed - NOW!". I started to argue and then I saw the look on her face. I couldn't speak. I am not sure to this day "why" I did it but I did. The next thing I know she had unzipped my denim shorts and had them down around my ankles. I wanted to run but I couldn't. Something inside me was screaming that I deserved this and I needed to just let her do it. "I am going to blister your white little ass until it is red from top to bottom, side to side." (again, ice cold inside) "The more you move - the longer and harder you're going to get it..... Your choice!. .... Understand?. I nodded and suddenly my eyes filled up with tears. Shit! I didn't want to cry like a little kid in front of her.
I looked away so she wouldn't see them but God, I hadn't been spanked since I was a really little and I was so humiliated.

She grabbed my panties and yanked them all the way up above my butt. The minute the belt made contract I knew I was in trouble. It stung. It stung alot. Every time it smacked my behind I jerked and tried to move away from the blow. It whisted before it struck and then this really loud "crack" and then sting would just explode across my ass. I lasted about 6 or 7 and then I started to cry out. I tried so hard not to show any feeling but damnit it really really hurt. She just kept on landing blows all over the place. She even started down the backs of my legs. I wailed! "Ow.. that hurts... STOP... ow.... I'm sorry... please... no more..no more.Pleaaaase.". She paused for a moment and I realized I was panting. I was sort of in a cross between panicking and feeling like I was going to lose it. She came closer and then doubled up the belt. She placed a hand on my lower back and then started in again. "Be still" she said calmly, with no emotion in her voice.

"No! No! ......No more please...." Oh my God... it stung so badly. I felt like I was on the verge of tears and I was trying so hard not to lose it. My hand kept trying to cover my behind but she kept grabbing them out of the way. She literally blistered my backside all the way down the backs on my knees. I could feel heat everywhere. I knew I would have a hard time sitting for a very long time. She stopped and let me moan and whimper for a bit. I was proud that I hadn't cried yet although I wanted to so badly. "I am going for a walk" she said. "You are going to pick up everything off the lawn and have it put away by the time I am back. "I am going to cut some nice long switches while I am out and if everything isn't spotless when I get back you and I are going to have a yet another "discussion". ....understand?". I nodded, but didn't move.

She walked out and I heard the front door shut. I stood up and ran into the bathroom to see the damange to my rear end. OH MY GOD!... I looked like i had a 3rd degree sunburn all up and down my butt and back of my legs. I was sore.. it hurt to walk even. I was kind of pissed. I got really angry all of a sudden. No one has a right to treat someone this way. I may mouth off on occastion and I admit I am no picnic to be around from time to time but that doesn't deserve the kind of punishment I just received. I wondered if my parents even knew what she did???
It certainly wasn't any like any punishment I had received from them. I started to put my shorts back on when I realized that they didn't cover enough of my ass and you could see strap marks on my legs. I blushed crimson. I couldn't go outside like this - other kids would see me.
I actually didn't want to put anything on it was still stinging so much. I crawled back onto the bed (facd down of course) and tried to massage the paint away. It didn't help. I was feeling very sorry for myself. I knew I needed to get up and go get the stuff in the yard but I didn't want to move. I just wanted to lie there and figure all these emotions out. I am not sure how much longer I laid there but suddenly I saw my aunt walking down the side of the house. And she did have swtiches in her hands that she was tearing the leaves off of as she walked.

I FREAKED! Oh my gosh. I didn't know what to do - I grabbed my shorts and threw them on and started to run outside but then stopped. I knew she would see me. Shit.. Oh my god - what do I do. I started to try and think of a hiding place. I actually thought of sliding under my bed, but suddenly the door openened and there she was. I backed away.. starting to blubber some excuse. She just shook her hed slightly and put her finger to her lips shushing me.
I burst into tears. Just started bawling like a 5 year old and I didn't even care because I knew o matter what I was gonna get it. She just let me cry but proceeded to take all of my clothes off except for my bra. I couldn't argue, I couldn't fight ... all I could do was bawl like a baby.
She placed a pillow in the middle of the bed and then placed me face down over it with my butt on the pillow and higher up in the air. I started to beg her. I promised to do anything. Anything she wanted. I promised I would never disobey her. The whole time I was begging I was sobbing at the same time and at times I coudnn't catch my breath. I knew it was coming and I couldn't deal with it. She took my hands and tied them together with a scarf in the small of my back. I became hysterical. Again, she placed a hand on the small of my back and said very calmly. "I am going outside to smoke a cigarette. You are going to get youself under control. I am going to swtich your backside and stripe your legs til I am convinced that you have a learned your lesson. It is going to be a very hard lesson, but when I am finished you will thank me for it.

She left the room. I cried for another 5 minutes or so and then started to try to calm down. I had to get control. I was panicking and I hated feeling that way. As i lay there I started to feel a bit calmer. I felt all the frustrations I usually felt melting away. Maybe I should cry nore often.When I was really, truly honest with myself - I had to admit that I had been pretty nasty lately. Deep down, I knew I truly desrved what was coming and it calmed me even more to admit that.

"Ready" she said. My body froze. I hadn't heard her come back. Trembling I said "y-yes".
I remember the pause before she started best of all. It was like slow motion. I rememer the feel of the cool, crisp sheets under my naked body. I was embarrassed but I liked the feeling all at the same time. I knew this was going to be hard. Probably the hardest thing I was ever going to have to deal with. I was afraid of the pain. I couldn't stop trembling but I also knew that when it was over I would somehow be different so it was okay. I stretched out, took a deep breath and exhaled. If you have ever had a switching there is nothing else that compares. It burns in a slew of places all at the same time and before you can recover from one strike - three more have rained down on you. I was wailiing from the start. The strikes came hard and fast with no pauses whasoever. I was begging and pleading and sobbing and panting all at the same time and in truth, I sort of lost myself in all of it. I don't remember the things I said, or how much i cried. I do remember thinking that people three houses down much have heard me. I also remember thinking they are proabably enjoying hearing that shitty smart-mouthed katy getting such a good old fashioned licking. Strange what goes through your head and what you remember.

She paused and I was panting like I had just run cross country, blubbering through my tears so that whatever I was saying was gibberish. I relaxed for a moment. I was sweating too - not sure why. She walked over and wiped the hair back from my eyes. I was still panting when she started in again. It was unbearable!. These really high pitched wails were just rushing out of me. Then it turned gutteral - sobs from somwhere deep inside. I was trying so hard to evade those switches that I was bucking like a bronco. I was all over the bed but it didn't matter - she managed to land strokes every where she wanted to. She and I both knew when fight in me sort of dissolved. She stopped. Again, I cried like a baby. This time though she crawled up on the bed next to me and gently rubbed my back. She told me I had done well and to just cry and let it all out. I did. For a very very long time.

When I sat up she was gone. On the dresser was note from her saying...."I know you katy - I know you better than you know yourself. I do believe you will you need a visit with me from time to time. I will know and I will be there."

I dressed and went into the yard to pick up the mess.